Well time flies!

Updatinggg!

I think that I have changed a lot this year. My classes have changed me and my experiences have changed me and my friends have changed me.

Well as you may or may not know I had pneumonia a week ago and even this experience has changed me. I realize how great it is to have people that care for you and and how great health is such a blessing, really.

Anyways, the excitement of the new quarter is starting to wear off and I am once again starting to get bored with my classes....except for economics...this class keeps me entertained for some reason. the other classes that i am taking are statistics, biomechanics, and logic design. statistics is confusing now. logic design is pretty OK since at least i can see how what i am learning can be applicable, but biomechanics is a BS class where the teacher just talks about boring biomechanics shit all day.

Besides classes, I keep myself entertained by constantly seeking out new activities that can help to better the person that I am, to increase my market value. I learned that in life it's all about ME. A lot of life is investing in yourself. Everyone is selfish and everyone wants it their way. We must acknowledge this fact and work around it. Is there any good in the world? Maybe, but I don't know.

I am applying myself a lot more now. I'm getting over my fear of rejection. If you don't get rejected how do you know how far you can go?

Business knowledge is making me evil. I feel bad when I slight people or when I calculate things subconsciously in my head. I guess this is part of growing up...seeing beneath the surface of things and realizing that not everyone is genuine. No one has to be. Why do I sound so skeptical and downer? I don't know! I have been told by more than one person that I am too skeptical of things. I have no idea why but I just don't trust anyone or anything anymore. Maybe it's because of my skills that I learned while working at Crazy Shirts and Subway, or maybe it's because of the Honors class that I took last quarter. I am pretty sure that class made a big impact on my life. We read a lot of philosophy and it was somewhat depressing. Whatever it is, I know for sure that my worldview has changed dramatically since senior year of high school...

Vegetarian for A Week

So I've been issued a challenge from a friend to be vegetarian for a week. She is a vegan, and I thought hey if she can do it, why can't I? So i'm going to abstain from meat until November 20, 2009. I wonder what effect this great endeavor will have on my life. We will just have to wait and see. This morning's breakfast consisted of cereal, soymilk, a custard bun, oh and lunch was a veggie patty from subway, which is not all that bad. I think that I can really do this. The biggest challenge will be the thanksgiving dinner that my dorm is putting on later this week, with delicious turkey, but its OK! I can forgo it this week and enjoy it next week. So far I've started noticing the ingredients in my foods. I can't imagine being vegan because cheese and milk and eggs are so yummy. I just realized that I will be giving up fish as well. No Omega 3s for me :(
Well at least it's only for a week. I never thought about how hard it is for vegetarians to get vegetarian food. Additionally, since I'm on the Dining Services committee for my school this will be an excellent way to see the world from a vegetarian's point of view. I wonder what spectacular benefits this will have on my health as well. I'm pretty excited! but I am kind of hungry still right now :( eeeeehh. Well I will reflect on this experience later. Anyone wanna try this challenge too?

Sick

I shouldn't have drank the doubleshot Friday night. I felt disgusting in the morning and now God has punished me with this cold. I was supposed to take m grandma shopping for hand lotion today, but she cancelled on me. Woe is me left at home with my mom.

Let's talk about Math

So tonight I shall blog about this subject... Math.
In high school I was on the math team (right, Social Suicide according to Gretchen Weiner in Mean Girls) for four years. I dedicated one Saturday morning every month from the beginning of Sophomore year and about 300 hours total of workshop training in addition to practice on my own on Friday nights before meets. I gave up Tennis and Golf to spend more time indoors learning math techniques and teaching math techniques. Every time I had a workshop I would dread teaching it because teaching math to people is not realy exciting to me. Now that I think of it participating in the math team was one of those things that I just do because its easy to engage in a flow pattern with it, errr what i mean is that its easy for me to just keep going once I get the pattern. Doing pactice problems allowed me to memorize the pattern and the different shapes that itcan come in, allowing me to be ready for anything handed to me on the day of the Math Meet. I knew I was good at math when I was in second grade. The worksheets that my teacher handed out were super easy for me and I even remember requesting extra work because I didn't have anything to do at home. My MAT (a public school standardized test) scores showed that I had 6th grade level math skills in second grade. My teachers, my mom and my classmates kept telling me how "smart" I was. I remember my mom drilling me about the times table as well on the drive back to Ewa Beach from town. Every year my teachers and fellow classmates would tell me I have talent in math. I made friends by helping them on their homework and they liked me because they thought I was the smartest girl in the entire grade. In middle school I was able to skip Prealgebra in 8th grade and go straight to algebra. In high school I took math classes every summer to get ahead of everyone in my grade to further defend my title of being the Math Girl. By junior year I was taking AP Calculus and became co captain of the Math Team. I was on this weird Math Train and people all around me encouraged me to stay on it, so I did.

And then finally, along came college where I realized that Math is just a requirement that I have to fulfill for my engineering degree. I don't like it particularly. The college math classes that I've taken only have been interesting because my teacher was a flamboyantly gay guy and made quirky jokes. I spent hours on my homework and only after another hour of review before the class would I be able to comprehend the new lesson being taught. Currently I have one more math class to take for graduation requrements, and do not plan on taking it any time soon. Without the encouragement of my teachers and peers, I have no motivation to do math, which means in reality I may have been under an illusion all my life! I may have used my mathemtical ability to gain approval and praise from those around me. Rather than enjoying math itself I enjoyed the attention that I got when I excelled in it, or looked for other rewards such as recommendation letters from teachers. Well the point is that I don't know if I like math at all or if I just like the recognition. Or another possibility is that college is just harder and even subjects that I liked are harder.

So I feel like I rode this Math Train from 2nd grade till the end of high school. I never really thought about whether I enjoyed it or just did it cus ppl told me i was good at it. I wonder if I'd been told that I was good at writing at an early age, would I pursue English?

Work

Today I got to work in the lab and got introduced to various lab equipment by a fellow intern. I also got to weigh out some chemicals with a super sensitive balance that measures milligrams. Right now it's lunch time and I am reading a boring research journal about the current project that they are replicating in the lab. I'm looking forward to this afternoon because after lunch I get to watch a very important process in the lab and after that I have a job interview at Crazy Shirts at Ward. weeee.

Summer to do list progreess

So I feel like I have accomplished the majority of the goals on my summer to do list. Cept for the inevitable such as "fighting as little with my parents and my sister." And the volunteering a 100 hours thing....I'm now changing that to 100 hours of work for no pay (that way my internship conveniently accomplises that goal) I already have 38.5 hours logged. Now adding to my list:

1) Obtain a job that will cover my extracurricular spending for the summer and the school year as to gain financial independence from my parents and to alleviate household financial stress.

2)Lose 10 pounds

3)Make sandwiches for lunch at work

4) Eat more salad

5) Refuse food at home if it's fatty, salty, or carb-festive

6) Be more courteous at home

7) Rid my face of acne by religiously applying medication

8) Sleep early, wake up early & run or go to the Y every day!

9) Do not stay at home every Friday night. Always plan something for Friday nights, Also Saturday nights. Stay away from home on Saturday and Friday nights as to relieve stress from the busy work week. Maybe Thursday nights too.

10) Never let myself ferment at home as to live healthier and build relationships with people

11) Update my Zune biweekly so that I do not get bored listening to the same shit while running

12) Refrain from backtalking to my dad or mom

13) Walk my dogs at least once a week (weekday afternoon)

14) Open my mind and attempt to fall for some one.

15) Do not let new actual paying job schedule dictate my schedule. I shall be the dictator of my work schedule!

16) Stop wasting time playing dumb ass Facebook games including but not limited to Restaurant City and Bejeweled Blitz!

17) Refuse anything for breakfast on weekdays except oatmeal!

18) Hang out with Santa Clara friends at least once

19) Be courteous when my mom invites 4 relatives that I do not know to stay over our tiny house in the beginning of August. Make an effort to be away from home at almost all times during the time.

20) Become transportationally independent, which means taking the bus, figuring bus routes, walking, etc. as long as I am not dropped off by a parent or sibling.

21) Do not use the computer before sleeping or eat meals late at night as to avoid insomnia.

22) Keep real and confident
To accomplish number 21 I need to sleep now.

So I haven't updated this thing in a while

And I thought I'd practice my English writing skills before they deteriorate to nothing over summer. Or I would just like to rant about why I do not like living in the same house as my parents sometimes. Since I moved away for college my parents decided to turn half of my room into their fucking office. And get this...my room is the smallest room in the entire fucking house! They decided to downsize what little personal living area I have to one half. In addition to being an office my room is also somewhat of a theater for my mom when she decides to watch Chinese olden-days dramas. My old binders and precious memories from high school and basically my entire life have been thrown out of my personal desk drawers, which my mom decided to convert into a filing cabinet for her business things. As I am typing on my bed, my father is occupying my desk doing work on the computer. In addition, tenants live under me so I can never jump up and down in my own room...although this sounds stupid it's actually really fucking annoying because when I get mad I can't stomp around in my own room...I can't slam doors...I haven't had a restful night of sleep since last week and I have no idea why. Maybe cause my room makes me claustrophobic and shit. In addition to being claustropohobic my room is fucking hot most of the time...right now there is a nice post-rain breeze. It's really nice actually :) Anyways back to venting MADNESS. Supposedly my dad has a cold right now. I don't know if he is being a drama queen or what, but he was looking for extra strenght tylenol and couldn't find it so he told me to go to Longs to buy some. I looked in the medicine drawer and found it for him, but the expiration date was 7/09 ...but it is July 09, so I wasn't sure and asked him if he wanted me to buy new ones...he said it's up to you I just need Tylenol. So I fucking Googgled "Tylenol expiration date" and found out that medicine doesn't really expire, cept thats just the date that manufactures guarantee it to work till. In fact it even works 3 years after expiration date. So I told my dad it's still good, but he fucking ignores me when he comes out of the shower because he sees that I am still at home and haven't gone to buy the medicine. He finds his keys and drives off to go to Longs himself. I try to stop him from going, but he fucking ignores me. Then my sister and my mother gang up on me "Why didn't you go and buy it??? Don't you know he's sick?" FUCK. You go buy the medicine. I already found some unexpired medicine for him and when I asked if he wanted me to go buy it he didn't say anything. Well that's my little story that I enjoyed sharing about one reason why I do not enjoy staying at home with my family.

Well spending the day at Alaz today was supah fun. Just chilling and catching up and reminiscing good ole days of high school.

I suppose I'll do some research so that I can get out of work earlier tomorrow. Outs.