Valentines Day just blew up in my face. Every where I go I see it. Lovey dovey people, chocolate dipped strawberries, heart shaped everything. My roommate just asked me what she should get for her boyfriend and I said I don't know how about some heart print boxers? -_______- I feel like a cynical person hating all those who rejoice in this time of year. OK so maybe I am a bit jealous that I DON'T have a boyfriend. This is the first time in my life that it has ever hit me like this. I mean I could live without a boyfriend (I'm living now aren't I?) but I feel like I could be happier if I did have one. I wish I could just have a boyfriend for Valentines day so I wouldn't feel left out.
I have a friend who finds it surprising that I never ever had a boyfriend. I attribute it to my immense fear of rejection. It's not that I never liked anyone in high school or now in college. I don't force myself to talk to the guys that I like. I even pretend to not like them and lie to myself so that I don't seem like I do like them. I eventually get myself to believe that I do not like them. I always found some way to distract myself. I would make a freaking perfect nun!!!!! Sadness. I guess it was never a priority for me to have a boyfriend, but now that I'm in college and V-DAY is coming up that to-do is moving up the list.
3 comments:
yeah i feel the same way, always have. Yeahyeah I have a boyfriend but I had to go and find one all the way on the other side of the fucking country (don't do that if you can help it), and I still really only like v-day for the masses of on sale candy the DAY AFTER (take advantage of this!!)
Go take advantage of the chocolate sales. yum!
it's not your fault or your fear of rejection. It's just timing. My belief now is there's nothing I could have done, in order to have a boyfriend earlier. You just kinda have to wait around.
seriously. buy chocolate :)
oh and my dad thought I was gonna be a nun when I was younger... Altar server, church classes etc. blah. I'd get tired of wearing that habit everyday.
and remember you never know, someone might just send you a valentines day note! :]
aw, i know exactly what you mean. i do the exact same thing (i thought i was the only one!). and idk, you probably know this already but if it makes you feel any better, i've never had a boyfriend either while my roommate brings a new guy by the room quite often.
i've never really celebrated valentine's day so i consider it a hallmark holiday. meh, it's just any other day to me. don't let it get you down, just go do something fun with other single friends :)
let me know when you get that boyfriend of yours!
hahaah thanks for the support and advice you guys!
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